Substack Notes

The more and more I listen to and actually act, on my own inner guidance, the more it seems at odds with the world’s rhythm.

The rhythm that tells us life is a series of milestones to accomplish, things to achieve, boxes to check. Instead of something that unfolds on its own terms. More like a story. Cyclical. Seasonal. Full of detours, unexplainable timing, and moments that don’t make sense until they do… sometimes even a little magical.

And there’s a kind of tension in this.

Because I, like many, have so many grand ideas and big dreams I want to bring to life and I can’t always afford to slow down. But sometimes I can. And sometimes, I need to.

Sometimes what we actually need is to linger. To let things percolate. To follow a feeling, a thought, an idea just a bit longer. To move slowly enough to feel something fully, not just understand it, but experience it.

And it’s hard to do that when you’re rushing through it all. When it feels like the White Rabbit is always right there on your shoulder, in your ear, reminding you to hurry up, be efficient, get on with it, don’t fall behind.

But fall behind on whose schedule?

There are parts of life that only open up when you stop trying to get somewhere. When you let yourself stretch within the present moment. When you pay attention — to the moment, the people, the timing. To the subtle shifts, the lessons, and the gifts you’d otherwise miss.

And there’s a different kind of beauty there. Quieter, less obvious. But it’s the kind that only shows up when you trust your own pace, your own inner wisdom guiding you, instead of forcing you into someone else’s timeline.

So even if it means being out of step with everyone else, with society, or misunderstood in the way you choose to think, feel and live — it still works.

Because that’s your life speaking to you, guiding you to a pace that’s all your own. 🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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I was thinking today about the powerful expansion and clarity that comes from committing to your inner guidance, to what genuinely calls to you.

Not because life becomes immediately clear, calm, or exactly what you want when you do, it definitely does not, at least not right away… But because you begin to recognize a steady clarity within yourself that’s always been there, pointing you toward your truth and to the life that’s truly fulfilling for you.

But as it happens to most of us (including me for many years), we’re often pulled off center by obligations, expectations, societal pressures, or what’s required. Or we shape our lives more by external demands and responsibilities than by our own truth, often missing the steady guidance within.

Still, that clarity remains, just unnoticed and unheeded.

Luckily inner guidance isn’t something separate from us, it’s our own inner intelligence, our core self expressing itself in real time, offering clues about what we truly want. And it’s always available to be acted on.

The question is: are we present enough with ourselves to recognize it and act from it?

The more we cultivate this ability, the more we create space and expand our capacity to act on what is truly in alignment for us. Not just because our senses are growing stronger, but because we are becoming more able to be present with ourselves, even in our imperfections and our complexity, at any given moment. And with that, we don’t just become aware of the more we want; we become clearer about who we are becoming, and more able to act from it and toward it.

So a gentle reminder: within us is always a steady inner knowing: guidance, nudges, clarity, clues always available in the present moment.

We only need to become present enough to hear it, and choose to listen and act, again and again, until slowly, we begin to live the life that’s been calling to us all along.

Here’s to us. 🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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As I celebrate the completion of another revolution around the sun, I’m reminded that we are not here to make ourselves palatable for others — even if we genuinely love being of service and showing up for others. We’re here to express who we are and follow the path that calls to us, however unconventional, different, or unexpected it may be from what we’re used to or where we are.

Too many of us (myself included) spend so much time trying to be digestible for others: meeting expectations, fulfilling obligations, supporting others, avoiding disruption that we lose sight of what we actually want and what’s worth fighting for.

This is a gentle reminder for us: what you want, what you yearn for, what your inner self keeps nudging you toward matters, it’s worth exploring and it’s worth your effort.

I spent so many years prioritizing what was expected of me, so focused on meeting obligations and external demands that I didn’t even recognize the opportunities that were right in front of me.

Luckily, we don’t miss what’s truly meant for us. So I’m learning it’s never too late to return to yourself and choose differently. That option is always yours too.

Here’s to choosing differently. 🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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You are and have always been, much stronger and more capable than you’ve given yourself credit for. Life brings so much change, sometimes all at once, and it’s easy to forget just how far you’ve come. But it’s important to take a moment to remember what you’ve overcome, the challenges you’ve faced, and the burdens you’ve sometimes carried alone, sometimes all at once, sometimes for years.

Because behind every step, every small victory, every time you kept going despite fear or uncertainty, and every new opening you said yes to, is the story of your resilience, your grit, your courage. Written not only in the big, monumental moments, but in the everyday actions, the big and small choices you make when no one’s watching that keep you moving forward.

Your story is just as powerful, just as worthy, and just as remarkable as anyone else’s.

Because you’re you and you’re here. I’m proud of you, hope you are too. 💗

– Carmen Iglesias

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A gentle reminder to give people’s stories a chance.

Some people carry a story that isn’t visible or glamorous but just as powerful.

It doesn’t demand attention. It doesn’t need to prove itself, because it’s built in the moments no one else sees. The struggles faced alone. The grind, the mess, the shadows, the harshness, the violence it takes to become gentle, to become softer.

No one sees the will it takes to keep going. To grow this way, year after year.

And yet — there is a kind of depth here. Capacity and growth earned through choosing the hard, inward path. The path that’s quieter and heavier but also deeply meaningful.

Where you still show up for others while carrying the unseen weight of responsibility to grow in a way that doesn’t harm yourself or the people you love. It moves slower, takes more time but it breaks patterns so they’re never passed on again. And it opens the door to thrive in ways never made possible before.

This kind of transformation isn’t loud. It isn’t common. And yet it’s powerful all the same.

Give people’s stories a chance. You might be looking at someone in the middle of becoming and never know how long it’s taken.🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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Even when your dreams and desires are different from those around you, you’re allowed to want more for yourself for no other reason than because it makes your heart happy.

Too many of us choose what’s safe, what’s comfortable, what makes sense on paper even while something in us is asking us to expand, to explore, to experience more.

You only get one life to live as the version of you that you are. You might as well make life your own.

Follow what your heart calls for, even if it’s different. Especially if it’s different…

You and me both. 🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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🧵Part 1/3: Gentle reminder to myself (and maybe this will help you too) — it’s okay to grieve what’s changing.

We don’t often do this. It’s something I write about often at http://thecrv.com and here about the process of transition: moving from the old to the new, from one state or condition to another.

We often think that as we transition to our new path, we can just move forward quickly, hoping the excitement of the next chapter, will overcome any challenges we may have with this new change.

But depending on how significant or profound the change is, that’s not always possible. Sometimes there’s an invisible layer of loss and grief we never see — a layer that deserves its own moment of reflection and honoring …

– Carmen Iglesias

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🧵Part 2/3: Take a teenager leaving home for college overseas, the first one in the family to do so, for example. That’s a major transition that calls for space that most don’t consider. A teenager stepping into adulthood, leaving home and loved ones to navigate the unknown, alone, for the first time. A mother releasing the child she so lovingly raised so they can grow into the person they were meant to be.

Grief exists here. Both are undergoing tremendous growth, releasing past chapters and welcoming something new. It’s bittersweet, necessary, and full of a kind of loss. This was my story and it still hurts a little, even after all these years, because it was never properly grieved.

And yet, change is inevitable, isn’t it? Our choices lead to new chapters, and so we must make space for grieving as we move forward — space to honor what was, and to gently prepare for what’s coming next …

– Carmen Iglesias

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🧵Part 3/3: And if these changes transform and reshape our current relationships, routines, or environments (as major transitions do) then even more care and attention is needed. Especially when it involves we people we love.

Because change doesn’t mean we’re giving up or leaving behind the people we love. It simply means transformation, growth, and change are happening — for all of us. Both grief and excitement can exist at the same time, so kindness and tenderness are still needed as you all navigate this process together.

So if you’re in the middle of a transition, give yourself (and those you love) permission to slow down. Honor what was, thank the chapters that shaped you, and allow yourself to fully feel what you’re experiencing.

The people you love are still with you as you change. As you change as you grieve, they change and grieve too. Done right, everyone can enter this new chapter with openness, presence, and love.

That’s what real love does. It stays and changes with you — no one gets left behind. 💗

– Carmen Iglesias

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The Japanese call the practice of honoring your scars Kintsugi — “to join with gold.” It’s a beautifully profound way to see yourself and your wounding.

For a long time, I thought my wounds were heavy burdens that made me different from everyone else. Weighed me down. Changed my trajectory. I compared my pain to others and often wondered: Why couldn’t I just be like other people?

But as I began my own healing process, I discovered a surprising gift — a kind of beauty and power hidden within the wounding.

When you allow your pain to guide you into growth and wisdom, you gain something far greater than you ever expected: the ability to see yourself in a more expansive way than before. You discover your depth. And with that comes a deeper capacity to see others too, in their truth, as beautifully wounded and imperfect as you are.

Kintsugi reminds us that there is no greater honor than being human.

To be human is to be inevitably marked by life. But when we learn to honor and heal within, those hurts become the very places, we recognize the most beautiful parts of ourselves and others — where the gold shines through.

To honor something is to hold it with deep respect and esteem. Our journeys all deserve that kind of honor.

Here’s to us. 🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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🧵 Part 1/2: Gentle reminder (a big one for me) that major life changes, even the joyful ones like leaving home, long-term partnership, starting a family, retirement, reinvention or other milestones — carry tremendous transition within them.

And while it’s natural to feel excited about the future, these moments often involve a major shift from an old version of life into a new one. And if you don’t take time to account for how that transition may affect you internally, it’s easy to feel profoundly overwhelmed or even disoriented by the experience itself.

It’s also important to remember that multiple things can be true at once. You can feel excited and also deeply afraid of what’s ahead. You can experience change externally first then internally later. You may notice it touching many layers within you — your sense of self, identity, emotions, or long-held beliefs. And you may even find yourself questioning everything all at once! That’s what happened to me.

That’s okay. That’s part of change.

Continued in 2/2.

– Carmen Iglesias

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🧵 Part 2/2: In many ways, all of these shifts are happening all at once because they’re preparing you for the road ahead. They’re a part of the internal work that helps you grow into the next chapter of your life.

So it’s okay to acknowledge the difficulty and recognize your needs in the process. And it’s okay to reach out to the people you trust and let them walk with you through it.

Just because something is a “typical” life event doesn’t mean the transition is easy!

I read this somewhere which I love: “Sometimes the very changes that unsettle us are the ones quietly preparing us for the life ahead.” So hang in there, you’ve got this. Right there with you. 🤍

As an unofficial transitions tour guide, I’ve written more about navigating change and transition in a 3-part series you can check out here: https://thecrv.com/the-wisdom-of-transition-why-change-fails-without-it/

– Carmen Iglesias

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I learned this the hard way and so did many of my peers.

As you pursue your dreams and goals, and as responsibilities grow, it’s easy to start seeing the people who love you and want to support you as distractions, interruptions, even burdens.

Not necessarily because you don’t care, but because everything else feels urgent — must-do right now.

But it’s important to remember that long after the responsibilities are done, the goals are met, the dreams fulfilled, it’s always your people who remain. And the time you could’ve spent with them doesn’t come around again.

So don’t take them for granted. Take care of your people. Stay intentional about making space for what you must do, what you want to do, and who you love — you’ll thank yourself later! 🤍

– Carmen Iglesias

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And a gentle reminder I add for myself (because I can be an impatient one, feeling like I’m behind 🫶🏾):

There are seasons to grow. Seasons to do. Seasons to rest and integrate who you’re becoming. And seasons to shine again.

Each season is important. Each season is valuable. Each season is worthy in the time it takes.

Wherever you are is exactly enough. 💗

– Carmen Iglesias

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It’s easy to forget that we are so much more than what we do (one of my hardest lessons).

We’re often conditioned to think that our value and worth is directly attributable to what we achieve and accomplish. And though that’s important, it’s only part of the story.

Your kindness. The way you love yourself and others. The way you care. The way you hold space, heal and inspire and delight. How you make others feel safe, seen, comforted. Your thoughtfulness, your intelligence, your presence, your soul. The way you elevate whatever you touch the way only you can (whether you see this or not). The way you show up — not because you have to, but because that’s who you are.

That’s not a type of accomplishment you may ever get an award for. Most people may not even recognize it. Yet, it’s who you are. And it matters more than you know.

So the next time you’re pulled to measure your value by just what you’ve achieved, remember: your worth was always more than awards or accomplishments. It was always about the person you already are and are becoming — more than any of us can fully see yet. That person is already worthy and loved just as you are.

Here’s to you. 💗

– Carmen Iglesias

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