Your Rebirth is Here. Now Move. (Substack Writings)

Years ago I intentionally decided to become a hermit of sorts. I had this vision of climbing a steep mountainside, finding a cave at its edge and sitting in stillness until I was ready. And that’s essentially what I did.

But the cave wasn’t just a metaphor or some romantic idea in my head. It was an absolute necessity. I was deeply wounded and I knew that if I didn’t tend to myself, I would hurt myself and others. And yet life was demanding and relentless. So I withdrew inward into a kind of hermit mode, to protect myself and those around me, while still showing up for the world as best I could. The cave was a kind of sacred, necessary withdrawal.

And for many years, I went within. With the fervor of a seasoned detective and the deep empathy of a healer, I explored the deepest, messiest, most hurt, shadowy parts of myself. I unraveled, processed, examined and integrated each layer I found, bit by bit, until a kind of light shone through. I worked through the mess until an alignment with myself emerged.

Then I retired from the military in 2022 and my hermit mode reached its culminating stage, as I painfully transitioned out and retired an old identity, to make space for a more complete and aligned expression of myself.

And I found myself in a beautiful space of becoming. A sublime space, where I could just be, breathe and look back, grateful for the journey, for the wisdom gained, for how far I’d come. And a new journey took shape and came into focus.

Today, I find myself at the quiet space before becoming. I wrote about that powerful space in Part III of my Wisdom of Transition Series. And it’s a real space. It feels like I’m at the cusp of a rebirth and it truly does feel powerful and peaceful there. I can smell the roses, enjoy the sunrise and sunsets, stand in awe of the journey and also glimpse a new story unfolding. A new story that looks completely different from anything I’ve ever experienced before … and that’s exhilarating and scary at the same time.

Sometimes I follow my fear and find myself being pulled back to the safety of old patterns. Almost automatically. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how much still feels undefined and messy, and that tends to slow me down. It’s a delay mechanism I know, but it feels safe. And so I stay there for a little while. But here’s the thing: I’m already expanding, growing, becoming. Those patterns belong to a version of me I’ve lovingly integrated but am no longer defined or led by. And so they hold less and less interest as the weeks and months go by. I can only now stay in them for so long before the new unfolding story beckons and forward becomes the only direction that makes sense.

I know many in our world today find themselves here, at the end of a massive inner transformation journey, on the cusp of major shifts, and stepping out of their cave if you will, into something completely different from what came before. And that’s an electrifying new story to be living.

So if you’re like me, give yourself grace as you move out of the old and into the new. It is a very human thing to fear change — perhaps the most human thing. But rather than judge or criticize yourself for falling back or slowing down, remind yourself how much work you’ve already put in. How far you’ve already come.

You’re not behind. You’re not stuck. You’re just mid-draft. Keep writing, keep going.

Your rebirth is here. We’ve earned it. We’re ready. Now let’s move — forward. ❤ ~ C