Remembering the Good Stuff (Substack Writings)

Remembering the beauty, those golden moments, the good stuff from your past, doesn’t invalidate or hide the difficult parts, but rather gives you a fuller picture of who you were and who you are.

Finding the Gold

At a conference a couple of years ago, I was exhausted from the crowds and ended up sitting at a chair by the exit door. I wasn’t supposed to sit there but thought a super quick break would be ok. Just then a sweet older lady wearing a conference volunteer shirt came my way. I dreaded the conversation, thinking she might scold me for where I was sitting but instead, she sat in the chair next to me. Tired? She asked. Oh yes, I said, relieved. She nodded and sat right next to me. Then for the next 20 minutes or so we chatted. The conversation eventually turned to our childhoods and she excitedly perked up.

She was a first-rate baton twirler in high school she recalled. One of the best. And she absolutely loved practicing twirling and performing during parades and marches. Her eyes sparkled and lit up as I relived her experience with her. She even showed me her favorite move: a baton throw in the air, with an immediate 360 degree turn before catching it on the way down. I was impressed. The coordination that required boggled my mind. At the end of our conversation I remember distinctly (because I was touched by it) she thanked me for giving her a chance to walk down memory lane. She hadn’t thought of her childhood for years and had really enjoyed remembering it just then, with me (🥰)

Today, I reflect on the young lady, her baton, her childhood and her sparkle.

I think sometimes we look at back on our childhoods in totality and often just remember the difficult parts. I know I do. And I think that’s normal. For those of us who have had difficult childhoods this is easy to do — to focus on the hard parts rather than the good parts. But when we do that, we only give ourselves a partial view of the past and a partial view of ourselves today. Because while there are difficult parts to our childhoods, part of the healing process is integrating the joyous parts too. The fun parts. The memorable parts. The surprising parts. And those deserve our attention as well.

So as you go back to your childhood from time to time, start to bring into focus the good parts too.

Here’s some of the good parts I remembered today:

Books! So Many Books!

I’m showing my age for sure, but does anyone remember Scholastic Books? When I was younger, a highlight of the month was the Scholastic Book catalog at home and the Scholastic Book Fair at school. I was and remain an avid reader. Intuitively recognizing this, my mom nurtured my early passion for books, words, and imagination by signing the family for the Scholastic Book catalog every month. Let me tell you, Scholastic Book Club time — an absolute highlight of my day. I was always excited to discover new books, new authors to read, and even more excited when the books finally arrived home! This is where my deep love for words began. What a great memory!

Music Goes Everywhere

Again… showing my age, who remembers the walkman? I’ve always been deeply in love in with music, and when the walkman came out — my world just got a whole lot bigger. You’re telling me I can now go anywhere I want and bring my music with me? Game-changer! I remember when we lived in Long Island, NY, for a time I would walk to the library every weekend. Almost 2 miles. And my favorite part of the whole walk: I could take my walkman and listen to my favorite music on the way! I loved it. I also always loved, and still do love, creating my own playlists. This is where that journey began. From cassette mixtapes to now digital playlists. How far we’ve come!

Question: Does anyone still own a walkman or even cassettes?

5Ks and Everything In Between

My beloved Mom, when she was younger, never had the chance to experience the joys of an active, extracurricular childhood. In her era, girls were often expected to stay inside and be protected. So she would often watch from her porch, as the kids outside played, while she was kept inside.

But when she became a Mom, that was never her approach. She put my siblings and me in every interesting thing she could find: any sport she found, we were in it. Along with dance, music, etc. And she deeply relished every activity with us.

Sometimes she was so eager to keep us engaged, she would sign my sister and me for all sorts of activities. There were a couple of perfectly beautiful, tropical Saturday mornings in Puerto Rico, when I recall sleepily lining up with a bunch of folks, mostly men, to run a 5K! But then we’d feel pretty great when we won top prizes in the women’s civilian category (as the only females competing), lol. Mind you, as 7 and 8 years old!

What’s interesting is that as I look back, that push to try new things and her encouragement to push past fear unbeknownst to her, helped me find my way eventually into a military career. Starting with the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (JROTC) in high school. This time, I was waking up on a perfectly beautiful Saturday morning (voluntarily) to rappel! Apparently, this was childhood 😂. Good times!

Thanks, Mom!

Who You Are – Both Can Be True

Walking down memory lane just now, it feels joyous, warm, and loving.

And that’s evidence that my childhood, and yours too probably, contains moments of pain and beauty at the same time. And remembering the beauty, those golden moments, doesn’t invalidate or hide the difficult parts, but rather gives you a fuller picture of who you were and who you are.

And that recognition gives you a fuller appreciation of yourself and what you were always capable of. And it’s also a way to recognize those who made your early years so special. Looking at you, Mom. My beloved Mom, who worked tirelessly to give us what she never had.

Now try this — Take A Walk Down Memory Lane With Purpose:

If you find yourself in a challenging mood or in a tough moment with, say, your parents or reconciling with your childhood, take some time to go back and find those golden moments.

Not to minimize the difficult parts. Not to rewrite your childhood or pretend that everything was okay. Just to remember the other parts too.

Ask yourself:

What did I love?

What made me laugh?

What did I look forward to?

Who made me feel special?

What moments still make me smile?

You might be surprised by what comes back to you.

And maybe, like that sweet woman at the conference, you’ll get to spend a few minutes with a younger version of yourself — and remember a little bit of your early fearlessness and courage. And maybe get a little bit of your sparkle back. 🥰

Happy journeying. 🤍 ~ C

What are some of your golden childhood memories? Feel free to share. I’d love to hear them! 💛